“The significance—and ultimately the quality—of the work we do is determined by our understanding of the story in which we are taking part.” —Wendell Berry

Our oldest daughter was a very precocious child and exuberant early talker, in full sentences, with exceptional intonation, rhythm, and clarity. Yes…non-stop-run-on-stunningly-astute-commentary-in-surprisingly-grown-up-language-about-everything-she-was-thinking-or-noticing-around-her-or-within-her-in-any-particular-moment. By the time she was two and a half years old, random people who overheard her ongoing narration would look and ask, “How old is that child?” She loved thoughts, ideas, facts, language, and stories from the womb. From Pythagorean Theorem to Mozart, she was actively responsive to language and music. One of her favorite games we played anywhere anytime when she needed to be engaged was called “add on stories.” I would start with a phrase: “Once there was a little girl and…” she would take up the thread and add her own piece of the story, “and, and, and she was an artist who one day  found a collie…” I would respond with, “and the collie said to the little girl….” (You get the idea.) We loved those add on stories and how they wound around and went in unexpected places based on the reality of our daily lives, yet infused with the power of her vivid imagination and dreams. On long road trips, she would play along with great embellishment. What I wouldn’t give to have recordings of these spontaneous adventures because our stories matter.

I believe the history of us all in our stories. From listening and reading them to watching them unfold on a screen, we naturally appreciate stories. We live our lives through the stories we tell, the stories we hear, the stories we hold dear, the stories we add onto, and the stories we must let go. Our stories hold, lift up, or shift our perception to help frame our reality because our stories matter.

Stories help us honor the work we choose to do each day. In reality, each day’s story is the next chapter of the ultimate story in each of our lives. During these past recent days in particular, there is an urgency to hold close those stories that keep resilience and boldness alive. We need our stories to help us embrace what is beautiful and joyous in our lives. We need to help one another remember that some of the most powerful stories often have moments where events go someplace we did not expect…to places where dreams unravel, only to be rediscovered, picked up, and carried onward. This is a challenging time in our country to gather with one another because the add-on story we are choosing to participate in, is not ours to carry alone. Our collective national story is one we carry together. We must add-on; keep telling, reimagining, and co-creating our story together. We have the magic, the mystery, and the majesty within us because, indeed, our stories matter.

So here we are and here we go…one year soon leaving and the next one is at our door. New opportunities, possibilities, hopes, dreams, and our stories march onward as Chapter One of 2025 unfolds. The history of each of us has always been in our collective stories, and a new year provides unique ways of crafting and sharing our stories. Even as we reflect on the past year, we cannot help but crave a peak at the year before us.

The Scottish phrase “auld lang syne” literally means “old long since” or for “old time’s sake.” So, my friends, may I offer these simple and personal reflections of gratitude and gratefulness:

Thank you for everything you do…the big things and the million little things each day.

Thank you for the unique gifts you share, most especially the priceless ones from your heart.

Thank you for bringing JOY to those fortunate enough to know you; I’m grateful to be counted among them!

Thank you for marveling at ordinary days in the most extraordinary ways.

Thank you for simply showing up, paying attention, speaking your truth, and letting go.

Thank you for understanding that it’s ok to not be ok.

Thank you for taking the blank page of each day to write the words as the story unfolds.

Thank you for rewarding others with your smiles, hugs, strength, and comfort.

Thank you for trusting your “circle of persons” as the real treasures in life.

Thank you for doing your personal best and allowing the rest to take care of itself.

Know you are seen, heard, and loved for who you are and what you choose to do in your story. I’ve come to accept how little in life means more than faith, hope, and Love. Gentleness and humor keep my faith, hope, and Love alive because they are everywhere when we seek them. These “big three” are most prominent in ordinary things like cooking a meal, sharing a conversation, laughing from the belly, making music, reading a book, dancing when no one is watching, hugging my family, helping my daddy, and walking in the woods—simple everyday actions where cream gravy soaks in and homemade grace shines through. So, may wondrous dreams and wishes take you to remarkable places as you move into this new year. May an angel gently hold your hand in comfort and strength as you prevail when the storms of life swirl. May quiet time with yourself allow your everyday actions to soak in and grace to shine through as you celebrate all that is in 2025. Happy New Year!

Pumpkins, pumpkins everywhere…

As my paternal grandfather would say, “Hey, ‘lil pumpkin!”  His booming voice and hearty laugh still linger and while I have few memories of him, the ones I do have are strong, especially this time of year.  He grew up on a Texas farm, so planting was in his DNA. As a youngster, I remember growing pumpkins with my Pop Sam (Sr.) in his backyard. Although I’ve seen similar variations of it through the years, it was my grandfather, Pop Sam, who first shared with me the life advice from a pumpkin’s point of view:

Be well-ROUNDED.  ROLL with it. Grow a THICK skin. Enjoy the SONshine. CARVE out your goals. Stand out in your FIELD. Always PATCH things up. Be grateful for the HARVEST. Learn when to hold onto the VINE and when to let go. Add SPICE to your life…and always dream BIG!

Each October, he found something spiritual in the ritual of preparing a pumpkin/Jack-o-Lantern for each Halloween (something my dad did with his granddaughters as well!). From washing off the dirt and opening the pumpkin up to scooping out the inside “goop” to carve on a smiling face, he felt the pumpkin represented each of us in our unique ways. He reminded me how important it is to fill others with a warm, glowing light. He told me,“we all need to occasionally wash off the dirt in our lives and open ourselves up on occasion to scoop out the yucky seeds of doubt, greed, and more so our own inner light can shine better.” While I seriously wonder what he would say about our world today, I’m grateful for these seeds of sage wisdom and practical advice deep in my memory bank. May you and yours enJOY the harvest season and find gentle ways to shine your own light into our world…and may the glow be with you always!

“Life can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forwards.”

“Hind sight is 20/20 after all.”

“Your bag is lighter when you don’t carry the past with you.”

“Don’t look back; you’re not goin’ that way.”

On the longest day of the year last weekend, Summer Solstice (which ironically fell on Father’s Day), every single phrase surfaced.  While I’m uncertain of the official origin for each, these simple, yet profound phrases continued to fall effortlessly from his wise mouth…

On really good days, we have deep and meaningful conversation in snippets, with daddy easily verbalizing his thought processes.  Stories, family lore, past vacations, dog show adventures, friendships, and more tumble into vibrant snippets of delightful conversation.  He can easily speak with friends or family on the phone, follow a pattern of conversation, and so forth.  I do my best on these days to soak up all I can with him, especially when his sense of humor and teasing take over.

On the harder days, we help him dig deep inside his mental well to encourage him onward…take that shower, use his cane or walker, tell a joke, take a short walk with us, sketch, or “read” in his newest book.  Often times, especially during our ongoing home quarantine, he simply chooses to quietly sit on our screened porch watching the birds at the feeder as he listens to nature hard at work all around him. As Daddy likes to remind on occasion:  “I haven’t forgotten, Bethy; I just can’t remember most of the time.” 

Sometimes, without warning, he looks deep into my eyes, straight inside my soul, and says, “When I forget, thank you for remembering for me.”  Those moments of clarity are a divine gift of JOY!  Gratefully, he is still at a point where he usually understands how we see his needs as we continue to find ways to help him fill them.  While never easy, walking this path with him as the keeper of his memories in his greatest time of need is a gift to both of us.

Alzheimer’s may be taking away the vibrancy of Daddy’s mind, but for now, he has us and we have him; we continue to forge ahead on this unique journey together.  We are reminded how some things in life cannot be fixed, but are shouldered with love, help, and strength of others.  Make no mistake; his heart and soul continue to hold what his mind simply cannot, so we choose to follow his lead and “take what you’re given with grace and dignity and move on because we’re not goin’ back…”  🙂

Personal note:  June is National Alzheimer’s and Brain Awareness Month.  Thanks to the thousands who hosted and supported fundraising activities on the Summer Solstice (the longest day of the year) to continue shining the light of hope for a future without ALZ.  Go to alz.org for more information on how you can support this effort.