Category Archives: Gratefulness

Crossing Wires

While I’ve been accused of “crossing wires” many times, my heart literally challenged this concept for multiple hours over the past weekend.  Gratefully, this story has a positive outlook…

I’ve lived with atrial fibrillation most of my life, experiencing occasional flutters or skips at times including a stronger episode following the birth of our first child.  Each time, my heart naturally converted itself back into natural rhythm in a relatively short amount of time.  Not so, this time; it presented as a full-scale, ambulance-riding, cardiac-concierge event.  This was an excellent example in thankfully knowing my body really well and paying attention to its specific warning signs in order to seek medical assistance in a timely manner.

In spite of the trauma, the silver lining (after a full cardiac workup) is the professional affirmation my heart is a “strong, much-younger-than-my-age, remarkably boring muscle,” performing well in form, shape, size, and functionality.  My new cardiologist reports my issue “is strictly electrical, because your mechanics are impeccable.” He did note, however, “a slightly larger halo-effect surrounding your heart, but it’s simply due to the fact you were a long-time educator.”  🙂   Oh yes…I adore this man.

A-Fib is not to be taken lightly because it’s a leading cause of strokes. Losing the beloved Luke Perry to a stroke on the very day I’m laying on a cardiac table receiving a transesophageal echocardiogram and cardioversion is absolutely not lost on me. Eating less, moving more, listening, and paying attention to my miraculously aging body are lifelong goals–getting old and staying healthy continue to be a full-time job!  And ladies, as natural nurturers, we must help each other find more ways to graciously attend and give back to ourselves in the midst of giving to everyone else around us!

Longfellow observed, “the heart, like the mind, has a memory; in it are the most precious keepsakes.” Here’s hoping your heart (and mine) find natural ways to maintain the keepsake of the steady rhythm it knows so well.  Just know I’m walking in rhythm with you, my friends…

Grace-filled living…

It’s cold and our frayed quilts and blankets are working overtime around here.  Knowing I needed to mend and wash the favorite one in dad’s favorite chair, he insisted I provide another one in its place (and I did).  The one I gave him started an unusual conversation about family quilts.  In the midst of his story, he profoundly commented, “just like the changing of these quilts comes the transitions in our lives, many with uncertainty; others with excitement and, your favorite word, Bethy, ‘JOY.’ ”  

Yes; my mouth fell open.

Combining a multi-generational family into one home during this season of our lives obviously doesn’t come with an instructional manual…at least one I can understand.  Home is still where our stories begin and continue, and with that being said, we’re a little over a full year into tenderly stitching dad and Princess Sassypants (Poppy) into our home.  While nothing is perfect (remember, I despise that word), through grace, we thankfully haven’t lost our sense of humor yet.  Laughter, teasing, and smiles are some of the greatest tension relievers on the tough days.  My mom often noted how “the shortest distance between two people is always laughter.”  Daddy subscribes to the philosophy of “a good time to laugh is when you can.”  Even with his growing health concerns and loss of memory, he is remarkably full of life, laughter, and lots of stories.  He is the proverbial rose-colored glasses guy because he whole-heartily believes there is always, always, always something to be grateful for each day.  He chooses to walk to the sunshine in order to leave the shadows behind him.

On the really long, tough days when none of us have much strength left to deal, we work to gently remind one another to reach a little deeper into our personal well of grace where more resources pour out to move us forward.  And then there’s the tiny spark in daddy’s eye before he gracefully reminds me how “flexible people never get bent out of shape.”

His brain is astounding…one minute not remembering how to tie his shoelaces, and the next minute, spouting pearls of wisdom rendering me speechless.

You‘re right daddy; families are like our old quilts…carefully crafted and pieced together in colorful memories bound tightly in love.  Although they tend to unravel at times, each can be stitched back together with kindness, understanding, patience, love, and lots and lots of grace.

If you’re on a similar journey, just know I have thread, scraps, and sewing needles…along with kindness, understanding, patience, love, and lots of grace to share, my friends…

A date that continues to live in infamy…

At 6:00 am on December 7, 1941, the cook aboard the USS West Virginia, Third Class Messman Doris (Dorie) Miller, was making his rounds collecting laundry. When the general alarm sounded, he ran to his station only to find it decimated by a torpedo, so he ran up on deck. It was there his physical strength and character served him well as he hustled and carried other sailors to safety. Seeing the continuing attack, he stepped into the harness of a 50-caliber Browning anti-aircraft machine gun and fired rounds for 15 minutes until the weapon ran out of ammunition. He was subsequently awarded The Navy Cross, the first African American to receive the honor in our nation’s history.

His story is still famous in the small Texas town where his sister-in-law, LaRue Miller, a well loved retired educator still lives. Many currently in the community had Mrs. Miller as their 4th grade teacher; they know this story by heart. My mom taught with her for many years, and I had the distinct honor of opening and serving as the first principal of the building and learning community bearing her name, LaRue Miller Elementary School. Mrs. Miller, and her famous brother-in-law, both remain “rock stars” on her campus even today.

After a week filled in loving tribute to a heroic American President, let us also be mindful, grateful, and thankful on this day of remembrance for the men and women like Dorie Miller, who selflessly served our beloved country in extreme measures.  Like President Bush, Mr. Miller was a critical part of the Greatest Generation.  Mr. Miller exemplified the true measure of character during the attack on Pearl Harbor; he faithfully reacted in earnest and resiliency when uncertainty and definite destruction rained chaos that Sunday morning.  Sadly, almost two years later, he was killed in action, making the ultimate sacrifice while defending the country he loved and served.

So this begs a different kind of question during this advent of hope, peace, JOY, and love:

How will you choose to keep strong in your own faith as we work to create better tomorrows for all humankind,  both here and everywhere? 

Thank you, Dorie Miller, for doing your part on a day that lives in infamy; thank you, Mrs. LaRue Miller, for continuing to share this important story throughout your life’s work.  Let us all keep the message of the season in the forefront of our daily work and lives as we move into the new year.  And as always, be a blessing and be blessed, my friends!

I’m so grateful we had this time together…

One of my all-time favorite performers is the iconic legend, Carol Burnett.  My family would gather around our one TV every Saturday evening to marvel, laugh, cry, and share in the extraordinary work of a talented band of players creating the weekly comedy hour of The Carol Burnett Show.  She always did a thoughtful gesture at the end of each show in tribute to her beloved grandmother while she sang the closing song each week.  In several interviews, she remarked it was her unwritten, non-verbal way of sending love and a huge THANK YOU note each week to the one who never gave up on her.

I remember my Granny B sharing how the power of the written word, especially one penned in hand from the heart, is simply sublime…so in the spirit of Thanksgiving and gratefulness, please allow me a brief poetic license to bestow the important benefits of these two simple words:  Thank You.

A Thank You has the power to transform our health, happiness, performance, personal excellence, and ultimate success.  Researchers note how grateful people are happier and more likely to maintain strong friendships.  An attitude of gratitude in shown to improve the heart’s rhythmic functioning, which helps us to reduce stress, think more clearly under pressure, and heal faster physically.  My own cardiologist tells me it is actually physiologically impossible to be stressed and thankful at the same time!  When you are grateful you flood your body and brain with positive reactions (and those important endorphins) to uplift and energize rather than drain you.

Gratefulness is like a muscle in the body though—the more we use it, the stronger it gets.  In the spirit of our 40 Days of Gratefulness, here are 3 suggestions I practice daily to strengthen gratefulness beyond Thanksgiving:

  1. Keep a Gratefulness Journal:  Take a walk/talk/squawk opportunity to write down, say out loud, pray, meditate, and more exactly what you are grateful for that day; it’s a mindset for choosing to focus on gratefulness in a purposeful way.
  2. Take a Gratefulness Tour:  Write and send a letter or card each week expressing your gratitude to others in your life – or – visit them to share your gratefulness in person.
  3. Purposefully say “Thank You” to someone every single day: When we take time to sincerely and authentically express our appreciation to someone, we definitely help ourselves in the process.

While these work well for me, do what works best for you!  So on Day #40:  What one thing will you commit to do in developing your own personal plan to daily gratefulness?

THANK YOU for walking this gratefulness journey with me these past 40 days.  THANK YOU for sharing your thoughts verbally and in writing, reflecting with me and each other, while finding ways in the midst of deepest sorrow and profound JOY to simply be grateful together!

May you have a blessed Thanksgiving gratefully filled with enough fellowship, food, fun, thanks, and giving beside those you hold dear.  Let’s find ways to continue encouraging and uplifting each other while keeping the importance of daily gratitude, gratefulness and grace alive and well each day…especially throughout the coming year, my friends! 🙂

Gratefully having enough…

As Henry James noted, “There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea.”  Such was the afternoon tea my youngest daughter provided for us in the midst of our travels this week.  We enJOYed a scrumptious menu, conversation, laughter, stories, and respite from the hustle-and-bustle surrounding us in the big city.  These precious moments humbly reminded me how purposefully living in a mindset of gratefulness allows us to see we have enough…

  • happiness to keep us sweet,
  • trials to keep us strong,
  • sorrows to keep us human,
  • hope to keep us JOYful,
  • failure to keep us humble,
  • success to make us eager,
  • family/friends to give us comfort,
  • wealth to meet our needs,
  • enthusiasm to look for tomorrow,
  • faith to banish worry, and
  • determination to make each day better than before! 

(I found these specific words written in my Granny B’s penmanship on the back of a Thanksgiving card from 1939; no indication if she wrote them or someone else should have this credit.)

So on Day #39 of our journey:  If you created your own “have enough” list to share with those gathered around the table tomorrow, what would you gratefully include on it?

Yes, it’s a struggle some days to feel we have enough; we are human.  Living in gratefulness and gratitude challenges us to ponder the fact we really do have enough.  Again I say, gratefulness is a mindful place–perhaps THE place–we find our truest and best selves.  As we prepare our feasts and gather together at the table of thankfulness, may we all celebrate the gifts we pass and receive to and from one another with profound gratefulness.

While on our early morning backstage tour of Radio City Music Hall today, I met two delightful ladies from Scotland who marveled with me at each nook and cranny of the iconic 1932 Art Deco structure.  The majestically rich history of legendary performers alone is breathtaking, with each back hallway and secret corridor filled to capacity, representing all genres of musical entertainments.  As Santa himself explained during the 90-minute Christmas Spectacular performance last night, the most famous “seasonal stockings” of all time represent the splendor and magic of this historic landmark:  The Rockettes! 

So, I know you’re wondering now… What do The Rockettes have to do with the two ladies from Scotland?  One of these dear ladies (originally from Inverness, up in the northern area) was a former Rockette in “another lifetime, my dear.”  While taking our restroom break (another unique experience with pedestal sinks and the original foot-pedal hand dryers from 1932!), we struck up a lively conversation, the type a dear friend of mine calls a “visitation.”  Elspeth talked about “seeing this building for the first time today.”  When I asked her to elaborate, she observed, “When you land the coveted opportunity to work for this company and create a sense of teamwork for several shows a day during an intense period of time, you focus on each performance so intensely you forget to really appreciate the special and spectacular moments surrounding you…I can look back fondly and marvel at the magnitude at this point in my life…it’s given me a level of gratefulness I never knew existed so deep within my soul…”  WOW!  In that one moment, her powerful wisdom sprinkled with her obvious attitude of gratitude helped her (and me) lift the cloak of indivisibility to gratefully appreciate her personal experience as a real Rockette and me to focus more on looking at daily experiences from the perspective of them being the first time.  This is definitely a restroom break that will resonate for a while!

Perhaps, being able to simply see things “for the first time” helps us to not work so hard at experiencing daily gratefulness.  Gratitude becomes a natural response every time, thus opening our eyes to the plentiful bounty within our lives.

So here’s your challenge today:  Think of a “visitation” in your life experience.  What did this person gratefully share with you to enlighten your situation in that time together?  

Elspeth, thank you for the conversation, the profound personal insight, and your beautiful “visitation” today.  I’m beyond grateful our paths crossed in a most touching way, on a blustery Highland-like day in the heart of NYC inside an extraordinary performance venue. Keep dancing in your heart, special lady…and may we all take the opportunity to see things “for the first time.”   

When I retired, a lovely group of colleagues had this metal piece commissioned as a gift of gratefulness for the “lessons you unknowingly revealed in the face of some insurmountable odds at times.”  It hangs in a prominent place as a gentle reminder of how hard some of these powerful lessons were in my journey…

You see, gratefulness is an all-out committed life practice and it’s cheating to be only be grateful for the good while shunning the bad.  NONE of us want the bad things to happen, but we must meticulously seek the gratitude for the soul lessons inherently placed in our path on this life journey.  We progress when we find ways to use the hardships of bad things and experiences to become more patient, more kind, more present, more fun, more loving…

As a personal testament, my physical self (my personal body) has a definite history of betrayal.  From multiple abdominal and reproductive issues to years of cancer treatments, my body has repeatedly betrayed me with some bad issues. Doing everything right is no guarantee of complete health, thus I’ve learned to let go (AND let God) of my wanting it to be permanently better. I’m grateful for the good medical reports appearing at times, but more importantly, learning how much I can still contribute even when going through another health crisis makes my soul sing.  The “blessing in disguise” of the bad thing may be invisible and not surface during the moment you expect, but it’s coming!

A former yoga teacher also taught me how to practice gratefulness for my body parts as I maneuver and meditate as a blessing for what each one can do in that moment; no wishing or hoping (or cussing out loud) for anything to be different.  You’re probably rolling your eyes, but it works for me!  She also pointedly commented to me one day, “Never question why the suffering comes for you; listen for what the suffering can teach you. Be willing to see the gift in each experience when it is revealed so you are stronger and better in this life.” 

Here is what I unexpectedly know to be true:  Gratitude and gratefulness, like interest, compounds.  The daily practice of consistent and purposeful gratitude creates clear vision to pay closer attention and seek particular reasons to be grateful in the face of uncertainty. Attitude is mandatory and daily effort is non-negotiable on this journey.

Day #37:  If you could design your own etched metal piece or mantra, what would you place upon it to gratefully speak your lessons?

May we all find our way to embracing the bad along with the good on the journey.  Be a blessing and be blessed, my friends!