Author: Van Am Gram

by

One candle…grant us peace

As the shortest day and the longest night unfold, it is evident the winter solstice is upon us once again. Last evening, we savored a beautiful symphony concert where the local youth chorus shared their glorious pure voices in celebration of the season. Accompanied by various orchestral instruments, several stepped forth in solos and duets to a packed audience in attendance. The last three selections involved audience participation with our individual candles and our voices raised with them in song. Two young ladies stepped up to a microphone to begin a beautiful number called, “One Candle,” with the words and music by Andy Beck and Brian Fisher (both local composers and lyricists). The glow of our individual candles slowly shining collectively reminded me again how both the darkness and the light hold space for each of us. Even more importantly, when we share our light with others, light prevails over darkness. Even as we prepare for the darker winter nights ahead, may we focus on the blessing of the light within us…and wherever you find yourself on this longest night, keep faith that tomorrow brings a sliver of more light. May this light grant you and yours peace.

One Candle (by Andy Beck and Brian Fisher)

One candle, one light, burning clear throughout the night; one candle, one symbol of peace. One candle, plus one, now a glimmer has begun; two candles, two symbols of peace.

Dona nobis, nobis pacem (“grant us peace”); in the glow of candlelight I see. Dona nobis, nobis pacem, peace for you and me.

Three candles, then four, shining stronger than before; five candles, six candles burn bright. More candles join us, see a spark of hope begin. Each candle increasing the light.

Dona nobis, nobis pacem, in the glow of candlelight I see. Dona nobis, nobis pacem; peace for you and me.

Your candlelight with mine will radiate and shine; growing stronger, for all the world to see, you and me.

Dona nobis, nobis pacem, in the glow of candlelight I see. Dona nobis, nobis pacem; peace for you and me. Peace for you and me…

by

Our Stories Matter…

“The significance—and ultimately the quality—of the work we do is determined by our understanding of the story in which we are taking part.” —Wendell Berry

Our oldest daughter was a very precocious child and exuberant early talker, in full sentences, with exceptional intonation, rhythm, and clarity. Yes…non-stop-run-on-stunningly-astute-commentary-in-surprisingly-grown-up-language-about-everything-she-was-thinking-or-noticing-around-her-or-within-her-in-any-particular-moment. By the time she was two and a half years old, random people who overheard her ongoing narration would look and ask, “How old is that child?” She loved thoughts, ideas, facts, language, and stories from the womb. From Pythagorean Theorem to Mozart, she was actively responsive to language and music. One of her favorite games we played anywhere anytime when she needed to be engaged was called “add on stories.” I would start with a phrase: “Once there was a little girl and…” she would take up the thread and add her own piece of the story, “and, and, and she was an artist who one day  found a collie…” I would respond with, “and the collie said to the little girl….” (You get the idea.) We loved those add on stories and how they wound around and went in unexpected places based on the reality of our daily lives, yet infused with the power of her vivid imagination and dreams. On long road trips, she would play along with great embellishment. What I wouldn’t give to have recordings of these spontaneous adventures because our stories matter.

I believe the history of us all in our stories. From listening and reading them to watching them unfold on a screen, we naturally appreciate stories. We live our lives through the stories we tell, the stories we hear, the stories we hold dear, the stories we add onto, and the stories we must let go. Our stories hold, lift up, or shift our perception to help frame our reality because our stories matter.

Stories help us honor the work we choose to do each day. In reality, each day’s story is the next chapter of the ultimate story in each of our lives. During these past recent days in particular, there is an urgency to hold close those stories that keep resilience and boldness alive. We need our stories to help us embrace what is beautiful and joyous in our lives. We need to help one another remember that some of the most powerful stories often have moments where events go someplace we did not expect…to places where dreams unravel, only to be rediscovered, picked up, and carried onward. This is a challenging time in our country to gather with one another because the add-on story we are choosing to participate in, is not ours to carry alone. Our collective national story is one we carry together. We must add-on; keep telling, reimagining, and co-creating our story together. We have the magic, the mystery, and the majesty within us because, indeed, our stories matter.

by

2025…

So here we are and here we go…one year soon leaving and the next one is at our door. New opportunities, possibilities, hopes, dreams, and our stories march onward as Chapter One of 2025 unfolds. The history of each of us has always been in our collective stories, and a new year provides unique ways of crafting and sharing our stories. Even as we reflect on the past year, we cannot help but crave a peak at the year before us.

The Scottish phrase “auld lang syne” literally means “old long since” or for “old time’s sake.” So, my friends, may I offer these simple and personal reflections of gratitude and gratefulness:

Thank you for everything you do…the big things and the million little things each day.

Thank you for the unique gifts you share, most especially the priceless ones from your heart.

Thank you for bringing JOY to those fortunate enough to know you; I’m grateful to be counted among them!

Thank you for marveling at ordinary days in the most extraordinary ways.

Thank you for simply showing up, paying attention, speaking your truth, and letting go.

Thank you for understanding that it’s ok to not be ok.

Thank you for taking the blank page of each day to write the words as the story unfolds.

Thank you for rewarding others with your smiles, hugs, strength, and comfort.

Thank you for trusting your “circle of persons” as the real treasures in life.

Thank you for doing your personal best and allowing the rest to take care of itself.

Know you are seen, heard, and loved for who you are and what you choose to do in your story. I’ve come to accept how little in life means more than faith, hope, and Love. Gentleness and humor keep my faith, hope, and Love alive because they are everywhere when we seek them. These “big three” are most prominent in ordinary things like cooking a meal, sharing a conversation, laughing from the belly, making music, reading a book, dancing when no one is watching, hugging my family, helping my daddy, and walking in the woods—simple everyday actions where cream gravy soaks in and homemade grace shines through. So, may wondrous dreams and wishes take you to remarkable places as you move into this new year. May an angel gently hold your hand in comfort and strength as you prevail when the storms of life swirl. May quiet time with yourself allow your everyday actions to soak in and grace to shine through as you celebrate all that is in 2025. Happy New Year!

by

The blessing of light…

The longest night; the shortest day…Winter Solstice.

Yes; winter is coming (and already here for many of us today).

In a recent conversation with a friend, we shared our collective concerns about continuing to care for a parent with Alzheimer’s. She reminded me of this poem once again and how poignant the connection between the darkness and the light holds space for each of us.  Even as we live through the longer, darker nights of the Winter ahead, may we trust the blessing of light will be near us:

Blessing for the Longest Night (by Jan Richardson)

All throughout these months as the shadows have lengthened,
this blessing has been gathering itself,
making ready, preparing for this night.

It has practiced walking in the dark, traveling with its eyes closed,
feeling its way by memory, by touch by the pull of the moon even as it wanes.

So believe me when I tell you this blessing will reach you
even if you have not light enough to read it;
it will find you even though you cannot see it coming.

You will know the moment of its arriving by your release of the breath you have held so long;
a loosening of the clenching in your hands, of the clutch around your heart;
a thinning of the darkness that had drawn itself around you.

This blessing does not mean to take the night away but it knows its hidden roads,
knows the resting spots along the path,
knows what it means to travel in the company of a friend.

So when this blessing comes, take its hand.
Get up.
Set out on the road you cannot see.

This is the night when you can trust that any direction you go,
you will be walking toward the dawn.

( © Jan Richardson. janrichardson.com )

Wherever you find yourself on this longest night, remember, tomorrow brings a sliver of more light on your journey. Peace and blessings…

by

For the love of books…

The freedom to read is a nonpartisan American value. Libraries and books are for EVERYONE.

Those of you who know me personally know I love books, and stories, and poetry, and well, lifelong learning. I also adore libraries, librarians, storytellers (including musicians), and all the folks who work to support and sustain our American library system. Some of my besties are Library Ladies! Some of my fondest memories, most profound life revelations, and contented moments have occurred in a library. Armed with a love of reading, the world opens wide for all to embrace.

So on this final day of Banned Books Week 2024, I’m lifting up libraries for the important resource they are to our communities across this vast country.

This beautiful poem, by the poet Nikki Giovanni called “A Library,” is a favorite…

A Library Is:

a place to be free

to be in space

to be in cave times

to be a cook

to be a crook

to be in love

to be unhappy

to be quick and smart

to be contained and cautious

to surf the rainbow

to sail the dreams

to be blue

to be jazz

to be wonderful

to be you

a place to be

yeah… to be

Please take care of yourself as you find ways to care for others…and READ on, my friends!

by

Oh deer…

“Mama! We seen two deer. They’s both a doe but big as our bucks!”

It was the Summer of 1974 on the working ranch in the mountains we visited each year. It was mom’s birthday. We were waiting our turn on a bench outside the country store to use the pay phone booth to call daddy who was back home working. Mom got so tickled when she overheard this particular phone conversation coming from the booth, she had to step away to compose herself. That memorable statement became a family mantra that particular summer and momma continued to giggle every single time it came up even years later.

While sitting at our kitchen table this morning, M and I experienced our first deer encounter in our new abode. While watching our various bird feeders in action during coffee time, a beautiful doe sauntered directly in front of our lovely window view. With a calm reverence, she stopped to observe and assess the area, watching the birds and noting her surroundings. We remained motionless and in awe. Before leaving, she turned slowly and made lengthy eye contact with each of us before climbing the hill to move deeper into the woods. After this particular week, it was definitely “a moment,” and I cannot help but think mom had something to do with this, especially this morning.

On what would have been mom’s 82nd birthday today, I choose to believe this encounter represents a message of hope, wisdom, and Love. If you know M and me, we have a complicated relationship with deer (but that’s a story to share another time). Since recently starting this new chapter in our remarkable life together, a culmination of collective wisdom and renewal has evolved. Particularly as we age, we both lean more on following our intuition. To some, our decisions appear rash even though we are methodical thinkers, planners, and problem solvers. As a team, this our super-power; when we know, we know. Introverted, sensitive souls with strong intuition like us are a challenge to balance; gratefully, we continue to learn together how to embrace strength and vulnerability while also asking for help. Evidently, today’s encounter continues to emphasize how our growth and new opportunities require gentleness and grace with ourselves and others. We can do hard things and tackle difficult situations…and on an early Sunday morning after an attempted assassination on the former president, this message presents a powerful call to action for all of us to ponder.

“Momma…we saw your deer and received your message.” Friends, on this day and the ones to come, may gentleness, grace, and Love, always Love, prevail in abundance. Stay safe and well; may we all take good gentle care of ourselves as we care for one other in grace and Love.

PS: Happy Birthday, momma; miss you and your infectious “deer” giggle…

by

Goose Sense…

As spring continues to blossom the geese are flying back, laying their nests and leaving “evidence” of their arrival in our neighborhood these days. As they announce their return I always reflect fondly on one of my mom’s favorite life lessons. While simple yet quite profound, her story surfaces each spring as a reminder to tap into my inner goose-sense…

Everything in nature happens for a reason and scientists have discovered why geese fly in the “V” formation.  As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird immediately following.  By flying this way, the whole flock adds at least 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.  Truth #1:  If we share a common direction and sense of community, we can get where we’re going quicker and easier because we travel on the power of one another. 

Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front.  Truth #2: It’s important to stay in formation with those who are headed in the same direction we are going. 

When the lead goose gets tired, he rotates back into the formation and another goose flies point.  Truth #3: It pays to take turns doing the hard work–with people or with geese flying. 

Geese honk from behind to encourage one another and the others up front to keep up their speed.  Truth #4: We need to be careful what we honk when we honk from behind! 🙂 

Finally, when a goose gets sick or wounded and falls out of formation, two geese fall out to follow her down to help and protect.  They stay with him until he is able to fly or goes to the great sky beyond, then they launch out on their own or with another formation to catch up to their group.  Final truth: If we have the sense of a goose, we will stand by each other no matter what. 

So here’s hoping these basic truths find encouraging ways to prevail in the coming days…HONK! 🙂

by

Epiphany. Twelfth Night. The Three Kings. The Magi.

They traversed afar. They rejoiced. They fell down and worshiped. They brought precious treasures of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. As a pastor friend wrote, “We don’t know who these three mysterious, wise travelers were. We don’t know what happens to them after they leave the site of Jesus’ birth. All we know is they choose to follow the Star, to go and see, and then show great wisdom in not going back to report to King Herod…” ~Rev. Erik Folkerth~

On this day three years ago, my lifelong reverence for Epiphany was forever tarnished by horror. I watched in shock as the images of the insurrection unfolded in our nation’s Capitol. Throughout the afternoon I sat in total disbelief at how stirred up and violent the crowd was. This was not the calm and peaceful protest some insisted. And being Epiphany, my mind conjured a scene of the enraged King Herod ordering the slaughters of all male children in the biblical account in the second chapter of Matthew. This crowd marched and chanted and charged and taunted and pillaged. They fought viciously to remove every citizen’s choice and voice, to literally destroy the rights of “We The People.” And just like Herod, they murdered fellow citizens. The very foundation of our democracy in the United States of America was nearly lost that day, and most hauntingly, a basic sense of humanity was destroyed.

As M. and I walked early the next morning trying to unpack the reality and fear, his simple yet profound words of assurance resonated: “All we really have left to offer in today’s world is our humanity. We can continue to be kind humans and love others.” As always, his words calm my soul. Be kind. Love others. It is simple; it’s not always easy.

“We ARE the Magi, searching, resplendent in this world’s accoutrements of knowledge and wealth and achievement…but we search and seek something more.”  ~Ann Weems~

Perhaps we are more like the Magi than we realize. They chose kindness in not returning to Herod. As humans, we seek, discover, observe, perceive, grow, and change on our journeys. In our humanity, we shine the light on uncomfortable truths and realizations we often find difficult to process. We make choices, for better or for worse. We continue to search and seek more. And sometimes in our humanity, we simply choose “to return another way.”

So on this Epiphany, as we grapple with our humanity and being human, may genuine hope and daily intent include ways to seek truth, share kindness, and love others. In all our humanity, it may not be easy, but it’s a simple way to be human.  

by

It’s 2024 knocking at the door…

So here we are and here we go. This year is soon leaving and the next one is at the door. New opportunities, possibilities, hopes, dreams, and our stories march onward as Chapter One of 2024 unfolds. The history of each of us has always been in our collective stories. The new year gives unique ways of crafting and sharing our stories. Even as we continue to reflect on the past year, we cannot help but crave a peak at the year before us.

As I’ve shared before, the Scottish phrase “auld lang syne” literally means “old long since” or for “old time’s sake.” This lifelong practice offers sacred opportunities to take the wisdom and experiences from the past year forward in order to build on their lessons. The changes, growth, missteps, triumphs, sorrows, and JOYs provide focused perspective…to do better, to give more, to love more. So, my friends, may I offer these reflections of gratitude and gratefulness, especially after this past year of unexpected curves in the journey:

Thank you for everything you do…the big things and the million little things each day.

Thank you for the unique gifts you share throughout the year, most especially the priceless ones from your heart.

Thank you for bringing JOY to those fortunate enough to know you; I’m grateful to be counted among them!

Thank you for marveling at ordinary days in the most extraordinary ways.

Thank you for simply showing up, paying attention, speaking your truth, and letting go.

Thank you for understanding that it’s ok to not be ok.

Thank you for taking the blank page of each day to write the words as the story unfolds.

Thank you for rewarding others with your smiles, hugs, strength, and comfort.

Thank you for trusting your “circle of persons” as the real treasures in life.

Thank you for doing your personal best and allowing the rest to take care of itself.

Know you are seen, heard, and loved for who you are and what you choose to be in your story. I’ve come to accept how little in life means more than faith, hope, and love. Gentleness and humor keep my faith, hope, and love alive because they are everywhere when we seek them. These “big three” are most prominent in ordinary things like cooking a meal, sharing a conversation, laughing from the belly, making music, reading a book, dancing when no one is watching, hugging my family, helping my daddy, and walking in the woods—simple everyday actions where cream gravy soaks in and homemade grace shines through. May wondrous dreams and wishes take you to remarkable places as you move into this new year. May an angel gently hold your hand in comfort and strength as you prevail when the storms of life swirl. May quiet time with yourself allow your everyday actions to soak in and grace to shine through as you celebrate all that is in 2024. Happy New Year!

by

Over October…

As much as I simply adore Autumn, I’m not sad to see October 2023 go. It goes on the record of DO NOT REPEAT. While it’s not my personal story to share, suffice it to say I’ve been one-track-minded for many weeks. The best news is that improvements are noted and healing is commencing in miraculous ways.

As I ponder and process these past many weeks, a few notable nuggets emerge: Calmness allows for clearer thinking. Moving with strategy overrides the immediate temptation to react with emotion. Nurses…nurses are the real healers. No matter your age, we must learn to live in the body we have; finding a way to celebrate each stage of this miraculous vessel created uniquely for each of us is a gift. Even when the world remains a 24/7-hair-on-fire-breaking-news mess, mercy and grace are present all around each of us when we purposefully seek it. Mind over matter works because our mind intentionally believes what we feed it. And…feeding hope, truth, faith, and love are critical components for overall healing.

During the course of this journey, I was reminded of the adorable “Advice from a Tree” reader’s theater my second graders acted out each Autumn. This sums it up best:

Stand tall. Act naturally. Enjoy the view. Settle down. Sink deep roots. Make yourself useful too. Change your look for the season. Learn to bend and not break. Drink lots of water. Share with others; don’t just take. Dance and sway gently in the breeze. Be colorful and bright. Letting go can be a lesson, so reach up to the sky for the light!

As this October goes along with the gorgeous brilliant hues, may the barer branches of the trees reveal more sky, thus allowing more light for each of us. As always, please take care of yourself as you care for others, my friends.