Addison Michelle Van Amburgh (Addie) has led a relatively peaceful, calm, pampered existence most of her nearly 14 years…well, that is, until the addition of Princess Sassypants (Poppy) to our family. It all started the day a one-year-old sheltie ran barking at top speed into the backdoor of our new home, moving her and dad across the country to live permanently with us. Frankly, Addie’s life has never been the same. Never mind this particular cat has already outlived two former collies, loving them and then equally mourning each of them after their passing. While dad was eager to no longer live alone, required daily assistance with tasks, and wanted to participate in family life once again, Poppy just naturally assumed she would continue to rule an even larger domain, just in a different home. Hmmm…not on my watch…or, evidently, Addie’s.
So, back to the cursing… After lamenting about ways to bring more animal harmony to our family existence, my sister hooked us up with a vet acquaintance who offered to intervene as an animal communicator and talk with Addie based on questions we provided her to start the conversation. (I know; you’re snickering.) While I’m great at humanizing Addie and her conversations all on my own, a little help in mediating our dynamic situation completely intrigued me. Keep in mind, this vet/communicator knew very little about either animal before her conversations (kid you not), but the perspectives were truly most enlightening:
Vet: Addie, what do you like about where you live now and who lives with you? Addie: Well, let me tell you something. I LOVED how things were going here before that —- loud mouth moved in with us! I’d like is better if she left; can we do that? If not, is there a way to shut her —- mouth? —-; I’m not a spring chicken and NO, I’m not going to play with her either; I’m not a toy! I demand respect; I’m a cat after all. I love petting from my humans and I actually liked dogs before that loud-mouthed crazy little brown thing moved in all bossy and possessive of everything. That thing needs to relax, listen to my humans, and leave me the —- alone. (You can fill in the blanks…)
Vet: Addie, what do you think about your food? Addie: FOOD IS AWESOME! I love it and would like even more please! I AM NOT overweight even if that —- dog says I am! She’s lying!
There was other important information and ideas, and then this:
Vet: Other than the dog leaving, which, as you know, is not an option, is there something else you need or want from your family? Addie: Well, I sound tough but I don’t really want the dog to leave our home. My humans rescued me and she DEFINITELY needs rescuing. Her job is herding the oldest human and she needs to stick to her ONE JOB! I just can’t show her I like her because I have a reputation to uphold. Perhaps the brat will chill as she gets older, like me, but, in the meantime, she needs to get a grip (oh my stars; that is something Momma would say!). She needs to follow our house rules. —-, I was here first and she needs to accept who the real boss is around here!
So, my cat curses. While I won’t take ALL the responsibility for her inappropriate language, I have to give her credit for vehemently and honestly sharing her thoughts and ideas. She obviously has perceptions and her perceptions, after all, are her reality.
And not to be upstaged, Princess Sassypants had a few things to share as well. Unfortunately, she’s asking for her afternoon stroll before her evening meal, so that conversation will be shared later. Evidently, she’s too young to curse…yet…